TESTIMONIALS

The Institute for Attachment and Child Development:
A Beacon of Light for Traumatized Children

My husband and I felt lost. We were, confused and desperate to find help to save our boys from the brink of death. What had happened to the babies that we adopted at two and three years of age? What had happened to our animated, playful happy sons? The sons who delighted in long bike rides with dad? Who snuggled tight by my side to listen to their favorite bedtime stories? The young boys who enjoyed life and enjoyed their family?

It seemed almost overnight they were dangerously out of control. At eleven and twelve years of age, they were running the streets. They were using drugs and alcohol; they were staying out all night sleeping in abandoned houses, shoplifting, and truant. They had lost any regard for our parental authority. Indeed they presented far beyond even normal adolescent acting out behaviors. We knew something had gone terribly wrong. We searched day and night without success to find someone, some agency, or knowledgeable person to help us understand what was happening to our dear sons.

Finally a graced conversation occurred. Claire, from the Institute for Attachment and Child Development, had returned my call. I will never forget how she listened empathically. For the first time after so many calls, with so many other people I had finally found a heart that understood what we were going through. I remember her patient discerning questions amidst my frantic tears. I remember her assuring voice conveying the ways the Institute could provide treatment and help for my sons. Later that day Forrest Lien LCSW and Executive Director of IACD also spoke with me. The quick and empathic response to my search conveyed to me a sense that the staff really had a grasp of what our family was experiencing. Within a few months both our sons received treatment at the Institute. Through the Institute they found relief from their suffering with medications prescribed for mood disturbance. They also received therapies to address issues of disrupted attachment. Finally with the guidance of the expert staff at the Institute staff our family had acquired the tools and insight to work towards healing and stability.

Hurt children take a long time to heal. Even as we incorporated the therapeutic parenting concepts we learned while the boys were in treatment at IACD, and even though there was much progress after their treatment the the road of recovery continued to have its' ups and downs. In June 2010 my husband and I made the choice to move our family from Las Vegas, Nevada to the Colorado Mountains to be close to the expertise and support of the IACD team. After a year and a half in Colorado our once completely out of control sons are making steady progress toward adulthood. Our 17 year old is a student at Job Corp and our 18 year old after completing his GED is taking pre- college classes at the local community college.

We have no illusions that our sons struggles are over. The sad truth is that children with early trauma spend their life recovering. What the treatment from the institute has helped secure is the foundation of healthier family relationships that will serve as a guideposts for our sons in those times of struggle.

IACD is and has been a beacon of light for many families, like ours who were searching desperately for help to literally save their children and their families. Indeed the treatment parents who foster through the IACD today each have their own painful stories. Yet because they have been through similar struggles themselves they are deeply empathetic and committed to other families who search out the IACD for help. My time here has confirmed what I have felt since my first visit a few years ago. For the staff here at the Institute; this work is more than just a job, it is a vocation. As one treatment Dad explained when I was concerned that his help with our sons was becoming too burdensome for him "This is what we do here."

It is this approach that I have found with the treatment families and staff, this spirit of working together that not only makes the tasks at hand sustainable, I believe it conveys to hurt children in treatment here a model and feeling of family that plays a role in their healing.

I am grateful for the opportunity to be part of a unique community who care for some of the most hurt children in our society. My hope is that this work is strengthened to continue. Indeed than little by little understanding about children with disrupted attachment will grow. Knowledgeable people and effective treatment will become more accessible to any families suffering these hardships. Families will no longer have to feel isolated and alone in their journey to find effective compassionate treatment for their suffering children.

Julia Occhiogrosso

Institute Staff,

As you are intimately aware of, Nicholas was treated at IACD for over 2 months in 2007. He was diagnosed with PDD. His behavior prior to our sending him to IACD was as follows:
Destructive (to himself and things), extremely argumentative, unwilling to listen to other peoples suggestions, failing in school, anti-social, chronic lying, extremely anxious, very concrete thinking, and stealing.
Since his return, there has been an improvement in his behaviors. He argues less, he still argues and is defensive- but much less frequently and with less emotion, he is not destructive to himself- he continues to occasionally destroy things when angry, he has moments of unwillingness to listen-but is better, he still lies-but not chronically, anxiety level has dropped, he still steals things on occasion-but he is not very good at it and gets caught, he still thinks concretely. He is much more respectful to others.
He was also diagnosed with ADD from his Psychiatrist upon his return. This diagnosis has allowed him to receive medication to help him focus better at school. He still struggles at school, but now is in a special education class that should help him succeed.
We appreciate the help and support IACD has provided Nicholas as he would have probably ended up in a group home someplace as we would not have been able to handle him with his problems.

Thank you,
Bob and Rochelle Holbrook

July 3, 2009

Dear mom konnie and dad clay,

I would just like to say thank you for allowing me to live with you and taking care of me. I know that I was not the best kid you have seen but I know you loved and cared about me. I know things where bumpy at times but we learned from our mistakes and moved on because we knew things would get better. we also Knew we could joke around because we hade a good bond between us. and then there were times to be serious. I just wish we could get closer then we did but we did a pretty good job. I just want to say we did a good job as a team and I am proud to say I love you guys so much. if I could make one wish it would be to do it all over again because you made living there ez and fun. this is the first placement I have succeeded in and it is because you do a good job at being the best of parents. I would say it was very hard at times but I would shout to the world that this is the best program to be in. it helps to know I got some one watching my back and a support system to count on. I hope we still have a relationship after I discharge because you are an inspiration to me to keep moving and to never stop what I do. mom konnie, you just keep joking with your new kids because it helps a lot! dad clay, you keep heading kids in the right direction and never stop challenging kids to do there best! make sure we keep talking because I wont stop thinking about you guys and I hope to share my story to other kids to help them. I’m lucky you guys saved me from the destructive path I was on. Because I know what would have happened to me otherwise. I wish I hade more to say but all I can say is thank you from the bottom of my heart..

From Jimmy
To mom konnie dad clay

Ps xoxoxo endless love
(NOTE: Jimmy is nearly 18 years old and had 55 previous placements in foster care-He’s been in the IACD program since Feb 27, 2009)

Institute Staff,

After many years of unsuccessful therapy, hospital stays, behavioral treatment centers, doctor visits and even juvenile court system involvement we made the decision to try one last place, The Institute for Attachment and Child Development (IACD), in the hopes of getting help for our adopted daughter (and family) before relinquishing the adoption. We had now suffered (13 years) with far to many issues to elaborate on in a paragraph, but would be glad to share with anyone who would like to call us. From our first call to IACD in 2000 we felt like we were no longer alone; the staff was very understanding, compassionate and supportive during the registration process and treatment. The two week intensive family therapy was more than anything we had expected. The treatment we received was excellent. IACD does NOT practice any re-birthing or forced holding/restraint techniques that have been so controversial or publicize . We can attest that IACD's therapy and parenting approach is excellent, relevant, gentle, non-life threatening; but positively life changing for the entire family. Our experience during the two week therapy session was so positive that in time, we went to work for IACD as Therapeutic Treatment Parents. One might conclude that we have had the positive experience of being on both sides of the fence. We have had the pleasure of working with the professional staff of IACD to help our daughter and many other families whom have come for help with stories similar to ours. We have come to admire and respect Dr. John Alston (psychiatrist), Forrest Lien (Director), as well as the other therapist's and staff working for IACD; these professionals have the highest regard for the families and children whom come from all over the USA seeking help. We would recommend the Institute to anyone who is struggling with difficulties that may come with adoption.

Michial & Jacque Owens

IACD Staff,

The Russian translator told us "First six months will be hell, and then you 'll be happy family" as we were adopting Nadia (3 years 10 months) and Alex (10 months). Nadia and Alex were not biologically related, but we wanted to adopt two children at the same time and we fell in love with them. Six months turned into six YEARS of hell. Nothing we did worked for Nadia including...Dobson 's Strong Willed Child and Dare to Discipline. I was even tempted to call the Super Nanny (she would have probably run too as our babysitters had).
My husband 's family did not understand how such a charming and loving child could be such a problem. "Must be a parenting problem." they said. "It cannot be OUR son...it must be MOM." After months of testing and therapy with little movement, our local therapist, Jane Baker recommended that we contact the Institute of Attachment and Child Development in Evergreen Colorado. The thought of two week intensive seemed radical, but we were at our wits end.
The second half of the intensive was held at the Institute in Colorado. After Nadia sat on her hands during her therapy sessions, we reluctantly decided to keep her there with the therapeutic parents Konnie and Clay Stoltz. We visited her often for sessions, and she visited us twice in Alabama with "Mom" Konnie as her escort. Several medications were tried and failed. The right cocktail had not been found. We learned more about why Nadia acted the way she did and what happened to her in the first few years of life... She had the "Trifecta" Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), Bipolar Disorder, and sexual abuse.
Forrest Lien, the director of the institute and Nadia's therapist Beverly Baker White, helped my husband and me see how Nadia was able to bring our childhood baggage out of the closet. We had our own adult intensives and were able to work through issues we did not even know existed. The purpose of this was to have a stable home for Nadia to come home to. Eighteen months passed and we cautiously brought Nadia home. She came home on six medications.
Today she is well maintained on two drugs. It has been over a year now. Nadia is in the fourth grade. She is an average student, with excellent behavior. She is getting the academic help she needs with her IEP in place. Nadia enjoys competitive ice skating. She even competed in a mother daughter program where she let me lift her in the air and spin her around. (Before she never used to let me comb her hair!) I am happy to have my family back. There are still bumps in the road, but whose life is perfect anyway.

Jean Paradise
Alabama

Forrest Lien,

I believe in what I was taught at your Center! I have seen first-hand the progress kids make using this process. I have 10 kids on my caseload who are doing very well. They have committed parents and are consistent in their treatment. Some people keep changing authors and techniques. I cannot see how that is useful: changing with the wind. I have stuck to the method in which I was trained and have modified where necessary, still keeping the basic concepts. Measured outcomes or not, I have seen positive results and will keep on using this model as long as possible. You may use my name on your testimonial page.

Lucy Smith L.P.C. Good luck

April 3, 2009
Institute Staff,

Twelve years ago we adopted 2 boys who we fell in love with while doing foster care. They came to us at age 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 from multiple removals from the home and severe neglect. We didn't have major problems until November 2007 when everything fell apart for our family and both boys. Our oldest at age 13 was gone 30 of 60 days, we had no idea where he was during those nights. Our younger son was having more extreme problems, 20 neighborhood parents had a meeting, because their kids had told them that they normally dealt with problems themselves, but they could not figure out how to deal with our younger son, age 12. Fortunately for us, one couple told the group they would come meet with us and then get back to the group, otherwise we would have had 20 parents outside our door. The group later met with the police. We were also traveling to Juvenile Hall to pick-up our kids. One woman police officer told me, the dad, "If you're not man enough to beat these kids up, I'll hold them while you hit them". The boys were also doing drugs, smoking cigarettes, putting holes in our walls and destroying property, and sleeping in foreclosed houses. There is much more to tell, but you get a sense of our hopelessness and despair.
In late November 2007 the boys were both arrested for breaking a sliding glass door and entering a foreclosed home. Our younger son was placed in a six month program at a behavioral hospital. Before this we had gone to many good and recommended counselors, but none of them were aware of attachment issues and how to deal with attachment disorder, and I know now they were just adding gas to the flames. In November we met a therapist who had adopted 7 children through foster care with attachment issues, and right away through us as parents learning different parenting techniques, things slowly began to change with our older son for the better.
In February, our older son entered the treatment program in Evergreen, Colorado at the Institute for Attachment Disorder. We went out for admission, and then a month later for 2 weeks of intensive therapy. There were many miracles in Colorado. The staff was professional, and taught us how to parent our children effectively. There was major transformation in Colorado, and there has been progress every week since. I would recommend this program to anyone with children with Attachment Disorder issues.
Our younger son was in the Behavioral Hospital six-month program which did not help him, because it was not addressing the root causes of his need for control, it is disappointing that the State of Nevada paid much more for this 6 month program which did not help him, but was not willing to pay for the Institute for Attachment in Colorado. Our younger son also went through the program at the Institute.
At this time we are making slow steady progress with both boys. The Institute started our process of recovery as a family and our local therapist who specializes in Attachment Disorder helps us make steady progress. A year and a half ago our family was totally dysfunctional. Now, thanks to the Institute for Attachment and Child Development in Evergreen, Colorado, our children are both in by 7 p.m. every night, our older son is getting all A's and one B in school (before he was flunking out) and we do things as a family when before the boys would not even be with us on Thanksgiving or Christmas. Without the Institute, I can tell you that our boys would be on the streets by now and headed for a life in and out of juvenile detention and later prison. The Institute saved our family and our boys.

Blessings, Gary Cavalier

To Whom It May Concern,

Living with a child with attachment disorder can be a difficult and tiring experience. Finding help for your family can be just as difficult and tiring. My husband and I adopted a child from a foreign country at 16 months of age. At age 3 her problems began. She became violent towards me at first and later towards the other children in our home and my husband. Transporting her in a car was dangerous because she would try to get out of the car seat and attack me (which happened on several occasions.) She slept about three hours a night and would get into her sibling 's rooms, the refrigerator, the pantry, come into our room. She would destroy the house and I feared she would hurt herself as she would get in the drawers in the kitchen. Our solution was to put locks on the pantry, refrigerator, and her siblings could lock their rooms and the knives were locked up as well. We were prisoners in our home. If we took her out in public she would go into a tantrum and scream that we were hurting her even though anyone could clearly see we were not touching her. We took her to a psychiatrist and he diagnosed her with ADHD and put her on stimulants. This made her more violent. Finally at age 5 we went to the Institute for Attachment and Child Development. We went to the psychiatrist and she was diagnosed with early onset Bi-Polar disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Reactive Attachment Disorder. I forgot to mention that she also has profound hearing loss and wears hearing aids. She went into a Therapeutic Foster Home which gave my husband and I time to realize how exhausted we were and time to recuperate. We worked with the therapist and foster parents and learned valuable tools to deal with our daughter in a positive constructive way. A way that would help her feel safe and keep her safe. At this time her RADQ score was 98. Over the past six years we have continued to work with the Institute. We went for tune ups with the therapist and continue to work with the psychiatrist. We consider the Institute a part of our extended family. Our daughter is now 11. Her current diagnosis is Mood Disorder - NOS; Oppositional Defiant Disorder; Reactive Attachment Disorder; and Pervasive Development Disorder (which is on the Autistic Spectrum.) Her current RADQ score is 33. Our daughter is now a grateful child. Although I would in no way call our life normal, our daughter also has sensory integration issues; our daughter is no longer violent. I receive about 20 hugs from her a day and not a day goes by that she does not tell me several times that she loves me. When she comes home from school she tells me that she missed me and I get yet another hug and kiss. She is very happy and good at expressing her feelings with words. She learned this from her therapist and foster family and then we continued it in our home. It was difficult at first for us to learn new parenting strategies and techniques, but now it is natural. I personally do not adhere to or advocate all the attachment therapy techniques that people do. I also do not adhere to or advocate a lot of the parenting strategies that appear to be popular in the attachment field. I do adhere to and advocate to the therapy and parenting techniques used at the Institute. Their philosophy is to allow children to be responsible for their behavior and teach them to be respectful of others. This is done in a loving, structured environment in which a child can feel safe and learn to express their feelings with words instead of actions. It saddens me to hear that people who do not live with a child with attachment disorder call all attachment therapies wrong and destructive. Families living with children with attachment disorder or a child like ours with multiple disorders need help. If you have a child you suspect may have attachment disorder, be diligent and research for yourself, but find help for your family. You do not have to live like a prisoner and your family does not have to live a violent, destructive life. There is good help. It will take work on your part and your child 's part, but it is worth it. Our daughter is proof that living with a child with attachment disorder can be successful !!!!!!

April 30, 2009

In October of 2002, we accepted a foster child with Denver County. We were his sixth placement. He had his seventh birthday a few days after coming into our home. TS was extremely oppositional and defiant. He would threaten to kill his foster mother and the children in the home. He would attack his foster mother and try to hit, kick, scratch and bite. He occasionally physically assaulted another child in the home. He would bang his head against the floor, wall or his wooden bed frame. He would threaten to kill himself. At these times, it was necessary that he be restrained for his safety and the safety of others in the home. This was frequent behavior for TS.
He was placed in a special classroom for children with behavioral issues in our public school district. TS would attack the teacher, run across desktops, knock them over and throw books and other items around the room. He would crawl under a student desk or the teacher 's desk and refuse to come out. He would try to run out of the room and out of the building. His foster father would pick him up from school.
It was determined that he needed a therapeutic environment. He was placed treatment facility in their day program. At times he would refuse to get in the car for his transportation home. The center would call and his foster mother or father would come to pick him up. The same violent and aggressive behaviors were the pattern with the day treatment program.
His behavior began to improve in the home setting (but not at school) until his caseworker informed him he was to be adopted. At that time, his behavior at home escalated and was worse than when he first came. He became somewhat better when it was explained that it would be quite some time before he left our home.
The adoption failed. TS had a new caseworker that tried very hard to find a suitable placement for him. Eventually, it was suggested that he had done best in our home. We were contacted and agreed to take him back if he went through attachment therapy first. We believed that was the only hope he had for being successful in a home setting rather than a residential treatment facility. Just prior to his placement at IACD, he was in a Residential Treatment Center where it was necessary that he be restrained thirty to forty times per month. The county agreed and he went through the program at the Institute for Attachment and Child Development(AKA IACD). This was his sixteenth placement. After approximately four and one half months of treatment and family therapy through the Institute, TS was placed in our home.
Since the first day at the IACD, TS has not been restrained once. He is doing well in a public school setting. He is working very hard to be a "family kid." His behavior is not perfect but is drastically improved from the time we had him when he was six to eight years of age. We expect that his behavior will continue to improve and he will be successful in our home. He is expected to remain in our home until he is an adult. He will always be part of this family.

Jan Barber

April 27, 2009
Mr. Forrest Lien
Institute for attachment & Child Development
P.O. Box 730
Kittredge, Colorado 80457-0730

Re:  PDD (Aspergers) Treatment for Abused and Neglected Children

Dear Forrest:
As you may recall, we adopted our son, Michael, when he was 8 years old.  At the time, he was diagnosed with ADHD.  He also appeared to possess some level of attachment issues although not diagnosed as such.  He was significantly delayed in his schooling and social attachments.  His medications were prescribed to treat the ADHD and his/our counseling and or parenting techniques were tailored to address attachment type behavior.  The counseling he was receiving did not appear to be lasting.  The dynamics at the home, in retrospect, seemed to work against any progress we were trying to achieve.  Unfortunately, over time, his behavior and choices became more self-defeating and sabotaged any progress he man have made.  His behavior was slowly tearing away at the fabric of our family as well as destroying our marriage.  Additionally, he was harming us, himself and our pets/animals.  We became desperate and decided to place Michael in a residential treatment program for troubled teens.  There we knew he would be safe until we could find out what to do.  Shortly before his placement, he turned 13 years old.

The residential treatment program was structured to teach him discipline and accountability using a point system that elevated the resident to various levels and corresponding privileges.  He also received weekly one on one counseling and anger management classes from an outside counseling practice.  Although he made some positive progress, his progression over two years did not appear to be similar to other residents who were in the program as long.  He certainly did appear to be able to follow the rules.  The program was very structured and followed a relatively consistent routine which worked in Michael’s favor, since, at home; any changes out of a routine were difficult for Mike to handle.  However, when he achieved higher level status and had to assume more responsibility and less structure, he appeared to sabotage his progression.  When this happened numerous times, we began to feel that the treatment methods he received were not adequately addressing any underlying issues that he may have possessed.  The results felt more like a "band aid" and this became more obvious upon his removal from this program.  After further research and a recommendation from another parent, we found your program.  Based on an extensive application process, you felt that Michael was a prime candidate for your treatment methods at the Institute for Attachment & Child Development (IACD).

Once Michael arrived at IACD, he was placed with a therapeutic family in advance of any intensive counseling therapy.  Throughout Michael’s stay at IACD, the therapeutic family worked very closely with the staff at IACD and Dr. Alston, especially during the initial few weeks so as to get to know Michael as well as his particular issues.  This was a great benefit for all of us and helped Michael become comfortable with his new surroundings and made him feel more "at home".  Through Dr. Alston’s efforts, he diagnosed Michael with Reactive Attachment Disorder, Bipolar Disorder and Aspergers.  (PDD).  Dr. Alston prescribed for Michael medication that would treat his bipolar disorder.  The therapeutic family used techniques that helped Michael feel safer and helped him begin to overcome his conflict.  We received training in these techniques so we would reproduce the same or better results once Michael returned home.  The intensive counseling therapies that you performed on Michael helped him to better understand his "failed" relationships with his birth parents and how he was in a better place with his adoptive parents.  Michael, also, began to gain an understanding of the disorders that he was diagnosed.

Since Michael has returned home. We have continued to use the parenting techniques that we were trained to use.  These parenting techniques have proved to be instrumental with providing continuity with Michael’s treatment as well as maintaining "sanity" in our family.  As was strongly required by IACD, we have been seeing a counselor that specializes in attachment disorder and uses the same approaches in treatment as IACD. We have recently started neuro-feedback therapy for Michael, as well as his adoptive mother.

We have been very pleased with Michael’s progress since his return to our home from IACD in October 2008.  We are extremely thankful to you and the staff at IACD, the therapeutic family (The Stoltz family) and Dr. Alston.  Additionally, the IACD family continues to be of great support in our efforts to provide Michael the kind of parenting that will assist him with having of a chance of being successful in life and making life choices.

Warm regards,

Tom and Libby Heffernan

"The team was very professional and did an exceptional job!"

"We are very pleased with the help, support, and treatment offered."

"The experience and kindness of the therapist is remarkable."

"It is just incredible what you do here ... it makes so much sense when you go through the whole process. We commend you for the hard work and support, what a wonderful bunch of people!"

"We can 't say enough about the genuine interest and support."

"This was a life-changing experience for us as individuals."

"All aspects of service are very highly rated and respected."

"Therapy was highly effective and wonderfully supportive."

"Our therapist had a great combination of insightfulness and compassion."

"We leave with joy, gratitude, hopefulness, anticipation."

"I cannot say enough positives about your program and staff. They are incredible in their insight, knowledge, patience and empathy."

" We have extremely high regard for your therapists. They truly are gifted and professional."

"We were very impressed with everyone 's knowledge and support."

"The therapy process was great and the staff know what they are doing."

"We commend you for your dedication to children and families."

"We were amazed to see the transformation in our child. More positive happened here in five days than had happened during three months of psychiatric hospitalization."

"Our therapist exemplifies the saying ' therapy is an art '. He individualized his approach to fit the needs of a fragile child."